He is Near

My conversation today with someone was that I’ve become a little lazy; though I’ve done plenty of “spiritual” things in group I’ve taken very little time to just be with God. How do we find vision, passion, strength, or anything we truly need to do the work here – but in relation to God generating all of this in us?

I’ve got 2 days until the cast comes off – besides the mild pain and lack of showers (and that’s probably from my own laziness) the time in the cast has gone rather quickly. It has slowed me down enough to think about my priorities and I’ve been a little convicted with the use of my free time. Especially because there is only a month until we go full time and my cell group is using witchdoctors to cure their babies. My church plant area once had a “church” of about 12 people that disappeared or moved…I really don’t know, but word on the street is that the church never really grew and just snuffed out. It’s a tough area. I think God has big plans for Hunter, as well as, for Wendy and me in relation to Hunter.

God is healing me more every day – he even used a prayer of anointing to make known to me that he has heard my prayers and is cleaning up the back rooms of my heart and mind to prepare me yet even more for this work. I feel as though each corner I turn has an intimate gift from God – the view from our roof, the books a friend sent “Streams in the Desert” & “The Imitation of Christ”, making pancakes and sharing with the girls, taco salad, full-bodied chicken peeping out of a bowl in the fridge, enough water to wash my hair…my perspective on gift has certainly changed. In this period of waiting – I’ve certainly learned how to wait, anticipate, trust, etc. And it’s been a microscope for my actions – like when I got frustrated and slammed our bedroom door last night to express that frustration – not a good thing – actual verbal communication is something I need to perfect and God has given me the perfect place to iron those things out. I want to be worthy of the title missionary or Christian at that. It’s humbling in many ways to be here.

Everything really depends on perspective – like tonight, when our house that is also a church was being used to rehearse for a wedding…we were having some English worship time downstairs and because they could hear us upstairs they asked us to go somewhere else. And there wasn’t really anywhere else to go. Nothing like being told how to live in your own home – it’s certainly not something I’ve been trained to expect as an American. Nonetheless, we went outside and sang in the street. Neighbors of all sorts passed by – some stopped to listen, some in drunken slurs said thank you, or soberly said good evening and taxi drivers drove slowly by. One man after stopping to listen read the writing on the walls – declaring that we were missionaries and that our building was also a church. This inconvenience put us in the midst of our community to interact with them in a fresh way. God is all around us and worthy of our praise. He’s in love with us and wants us all to have intimacy with him. I need to sneak away with him to understand that more – to be filled up with his blessing to be a blessing. This process of growth, also known as life, is a beautiful thing with Christ as my center and example. God, as we draw near to you, draw near to us.