Zero Gravity

These days feel a bit like being inside of zero gravity simulator.  In reality, I know that things are provided for and God has a plan.  But, I’m learning how to trust and be patient to see how he is leading.  Though we’ve been here for a year and four months, we’re facing several changes – some that are not developed enough yet to share and others that are recent declared changes, such as Ollanta will be the new President of Peru.  The word on the street is that he doesn’t care for North Americans and so we’ll be waiting to see how that affects our work here.

There are a few work related changes to come, in the midst of losing members and gaining new staff, that I’ve begun the grieving and trust process.  God knows best, is in control, and I prefer to follow him into the unknown or undesirable if it means following his will rather than mine.  I truly believe that a lot of good will come out of the changes, but nonetheless, at times changes is hard. 

In the midst of the change, we are seeing God’s handiwork in the lives of people we’ve been working with for a long time, as well as through our new contacts – read our blogs for Paucarpata and Hunter to see specifically what God is doing to show himself in our church plant areas.

On a more positive note, where the constant mesh of cultures and personalities has collided with a crash at times, I’ve more recently seen some serious growth and breakthrough.  Both Wendy and I know that God is doing a lot of open heart surgery on us, rewiring our pasts and making us more whole & confident people – confident in him, not ourselves.  And I have a more certain hope of what beautiful love can blossom one day in my life as a result of the healing that God is giving me through the everyday grind of surrender, gratitude, and forgiveness.  I truly believe that we can give only that which we have.  We can only lead others as far as we have come or are willing to go ourselves, and for this I’ve been able to shed years of low self-esteem and other hindering nemeses by God’s grace.  I’ve let go of a lot of baggage that I’ve lugged around for years.  I still am in the midst of a profound growth experience, but it is less painful than prior days.

I’m immensely grateful for the work that God is doing in me and the privilege that we have to serve here in Peru.  There are many delightful moments and much laughter – which comes through the joy and peace that only Christ can bring.  I don’t know if I sound like Debbie Downer or not.  I’m not reporting the many great things that are happening in this entry, but upon reflecting I think this offers much more hope and joy for the long journey ahead than, today a battle was won, though that’s happening too.  God has been in me and at my side for many years, but it really wasn’t until this past year that I more fully allowed him in and to be more involved – the future is bright – no more band aids, rather I am healed…I’m picking up my mat and walking.  To God be the Glory.